Think you have high functioning anxiety? An integrative approach to beat perfectionism
How do you know if your high functioning anxiety is becoming a problem?
Anxiety can be a normal response to stress, but for some people it can be excessive and difficult to control. High functioning anxiety represents people who are successful in their careers, home life and beyond, yet have internal doubts about stress and fear of failure.
High functioning anxiety is a subset of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) or obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) that often goes undiagnosed. It occurs when a person has anxiety symptoms, but instead of retreating from situations, they work hard to face their fears and are skilled at covering up symptoms.
The objective of this article is to share what emotional and physical symptoms come with high functioning anxiety, and how an integrative approach can help you find relief.
People with high functioning anxiety may struggle with:
Overthinking and overanalyzing
This can involve fears of appearing inadequate to others, fears of criticism, and heightened negative self-criticism
Self-doubt
Obsessively double or triple checking details
Racing thoughts
Trouble concentrating
Inability to relax
You may find yourself “stuck in overdrive” with feelings of apprehension that make unwinding at the end of a day a challenge.
What high functioning anxiety looks like to others:
Perfectionism
They might tend to over function, and look to society for benchmarks to define success. They pressure themselves to surpass or achieve these goals, fearing failure, and even powerlessness.
Highly organized
Proactive
Overachiever
To the observer, those with high functioning anxiety appear to be in control and successful in life, but behind closed doors you may feel constantly overwhelmed, fearful for the future, and struggle with self-criticism.
Who is at risk?
Women are more than twice as likely as men to be affected by anxiety disorders like general anxiety disorder (GAD) or obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) in their lifetimes.
Those with caregivers who were anxious or had high expectations of them.
Having a genetic predisposition to anxiety.
Those who grew up with families where they felt less secure or had more adverse childhood experiences.
Those experiencing significant psychosocial stress. Psychosocial stressors are situations that make us feel excluded, not good enough or as if we don’t belong. Stressors that can cause high functioning anxiety include work-related stress such as an excessive workload or high job demands. Another example is interpersonal conflict in our relationships that can cause strained social interactions and emotional distress.
These stressors leave us vulnerable to our perfectionist tendencies doing more harm than good, leaving us feeling chronic stress, and unable to progress in our lives.
Thinking outside the Perfectionist box
Here are a few strategies to work with, and challenge perfectionistic thought patterns once you notice them:
Try a different point of view.
Example: Ask yourself what you might say to a friend who was tirelessly striving to “be perfect” as you?
You might find that your instinct is to offer uplifting advice that challenges your friend’s tendency to underestimate their own abilities. Challenging negative thinking and anxiety using cognitive behavioral therapy techniques like the previous example can help.
Define ‘perfect’
Sometimes as perfectionists, we forget to think practically about what being ‘perfect’ really means.
Is it an attainable goal? And even if it is attainable, is it a sustainable goal?
It is important to imagine these two questions with the awareness that inevitable stressors can disrupt the harmony of daily life and routine.
As humans we have a tendency to take for granted what we want once we have it. Is it possible that chasing the unattainable standard of perfection is a way to avoid dealing with an obstacle in the here and now?
Along similar lines, future testing can help. A question like, “one year from today will x really matter?” This can help prioritize tasks and make ‘perfecting’ them less urgent than you’ve made yourself believe and even feel it might be in the moment.
Face imperfection directly.
Try deliberately doing something imperfectly. It can be as simple as tying a shoelace loose, hanging a picture frame crooked, or wearing mismatched socks. Once you complete your imperfect task, sit with the uncomfortable urge that comes up to fix it.
This is exposure therapy in a microcosm, and doing this in small ways (with imperfections that are low stakes) allows us to gain confidence. Eventually you will find yourself working towards more difficult tasks, until you are able to challenge yourself to manage situations or tasks that may have been stalled in the past by anxiety and perfectionist tendencies.
Get curious.
You might wonder if you’re perfectionist at all. Our perspective can be siloed, after all our experience is all we know. So it can help to talk to friends and loved ones that you love and respect to get a realistic take on your standards. For instance, does everyone triple check before locking a door? Or does everyone need to have their laundry done and the house spotless before leaving the house? If these behaviors seem excessive and cause you undue stress and anxiety in your life, it is time to question the attainability of the expectations you have set for yourself.
Reclaim your life by beating high functioning anxiety and perfectionism
The strategies outlined in this article can help you reclaim your sense of self, and become less burdened by high functioning anxiety and perfectionism. Expect to feel uncomfortable when you begin working on some of these self-help strategies. That is the first step to beating back the habit of functioning in a high functioning anxiety or perfectionist state. As the old adage goes, change is never easy so the goal is to break it down into the smallest possible steps that feel achievable for you.
It is also very common that perfectionism, high-functioning anxiety, GAD, or other OCD symptoms are so deeply ingrained and overwhelming that you might need outside support and the help of a trained mental health professional. In cases like this, an integrative approach to high functioning anxiety and perfectionism might be the right mix of psychotherapy, holistic approaches, nutritional psychiatry, and medication management to realize your full potential and make peace with perfectionism once and for all.